Pornography: What you see and what you don’t
Warning: This material contains adult mature intimate content and is only intended for mature audiences.
I also need to say that I’m not out to shame or condemn anyone that battles with these very real problems
Gal 6:1 Brothers, if a man is overtaken in a fault, you the spiritual ones restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so you will fulfill the Law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, being nothing, he deceives himself. . . . 5 For each one will bear his own struggles.
Let’s be honest. We all have something we have a struggle to deal with in our lives. That’s the point. Everybody needs a Savior.
Mat 7:4 Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull the splinter out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First cast the beam out of your own eye, and then you shall see clearly to cast the splinter out of your brother's eye.
I just needed to remind everyone of this before we get started.
I want to start this a soul based perspective - meaning from our physical natural earthly worldview but then also from a spiritual perspective. Many of the battles that we face are actually spiritual and if you don’t know that your battles will be much harder as you swing your arms in the air trying to fight back hitting nothing (1Cor 9:26).
If you watch TV, movies, use social media, you pretty much know that overall the exploitation of human sexuality is a problem. I’m going to give some quick numbers to help us understand the scope and magnitude of what we are dealing with here. And keep in mind, some of these statistics are years old with almost all trends going up further - meaning in a negative direction.
The annual revenue of the porn industry is estimated to be more than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined
Pornography makes more money than the combined incomes of ABC, CBS, and NBC.
And actually you may not know this is a problem if you're younger and haven’t been around long enough to see the alarming changes in trends. So here are just a few more stats.
90% of teens and 96% of young adults are either encouraging, accepting, or neutral when they talk about porn with their friends.
Only 43% of teens believe porn is bad for society,
compared to 31% of Gen Z young adults 18-24 - (so there are less young adults that think porn is bad)
Gen Z is the generation born between 1997 and 2012. They are currently between 9 and 24 years old (nearly 68 million in the U.S.)
Teens between the ages of 13 and 24 believe not recycling is worse than viewing pornography
51% of Millennials - (more people in this category think porn is bad)
born between 1981 and 1994. They are currently between 25 and 40 years old (72.1 million in the U.S.)
44% Gen-Xers - (barely more people in this category think porn is bad)
born between 1965 and 1979/80 and is currently between 41-56 years old (65.2 million people in the U.S.)
59% of Boomers - (more people in this category think porn is bad)
born between 1946 and 1964. They're currently between 57-75 years old (71.6 million in the U.S.)
Just 55% of adults 25 and older believe porn is wrong.
It is estimated 68% of divorce cases involve one party meeting a new lover over the Internet.
So that gives you can idea of how many people regularly consume pornography.
The Bible has alot to say about community and how we are to treat one another which is mainly in biblical love. I’m not referring to the world’s definition of love which is usually lust perverted with vanity, self-gratification, domination, abuse, etc. but by rather godly love. We can find a biblical definition in Matthew 22:36-40 among many other places in the Bible.
Mat 22:36 “Teacher, which is the great command in the Torah?” 37 And Yeshua / Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love Yahweh your Elohim / God with all your heart, and with all your being, and with all your mind.’ Deu 6:5. 38 “This is the first and great command. 39 “And the second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself’ (Lev 19:18). 40 “On these two commands hang all the Torah and the Prophets.”
Obviously God/Yah created physical intimacy, a.k.a. sex (although sex is sometimes differentiated as being more carnal than with godly love), so His original intention was good. We can see pictures of how this gift was intended in the Bible book the Songs of Solomon. This intimacy is most purely demonstrated in the Bible as Jesus/Yeshua as the Bridegroom and us being the Bride in Ephesians 5:25-27.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, 27 that He might present it to Himself as the glorious church, without spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Love is most fully expressed in
1Co 13:1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of messengers, but do not have love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophecy, and know all secrets and all knowledge, and if I have all belief, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am none at all. 3 And if I give out all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but do not have love, I am not profited at all. 4 Love is patient, is kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, is not puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not seek its own, is not provoked, reckons not the evil, 6 does not rejoice over the unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, 7 it covers all, believes all, expects all, endures all. 8 Love never fails. And whether there be prophecies, they shall be inactive; or tongues, they shall cease; or knowledge, it shall be inactive. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part shall be inactive. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child. But when I became a man, I did away with childish matters. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know, as I also have been known. 13 And now belief, expectation, and love remain - these three. But the greatest of these is love.
In large part, Love is about self-sacrifice for the benefit of somebody else as defined by the Bible. Love is putting aside our selfish and carnal desires aside to meet the needs of another also knowing that Yah / God knows what you have need of before you even ask (Mat 6:8). And as a Good Father, He will give you what you need in due time.
In the purest sense, in marriage, there is an exchange of the male to the female and vice versa where their focus is on trusting each other enough to fully give themselves to the other and thereby pleasing the other. Obviously this starts before any actual physical intimacy occurs as intimacy involves the mind and emotions as well.
This of course is no secret, not even to the devil. It has been said that the strongest human drives are to live, procreate/sex, and security. Since this has such importance to our soul, body, and spirit, no wonder the enemy will pervert it at any cost - to convince people to live more from their soul / animal instinct than their spirit. The enemy knows that the more people that live by the spirit, the more problems they, the demons, will have.
While I’m still focusing on the effect of pornography I want to give you just a some more statistical finds before moving on.
Prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:
Diminished trust between intimate couples
Belief that promiscuity is the natural state - even opening people up to wide degrees of non-biblical sexual acceptance and conformity
Lack of attraction to family and child-raising
Compulsive pornography users “had greater impairments of sexual arousal and erectile difficulties in intimate relationships but not with sexually explicit materials.”
In fact, two of the most respected pornography researchers, professors Jennings Bryant and Dolf Zillman at the University of Alabama, who have studied the effects of porn and media for more than 30 years, said this when it comes to porn: “No rigorous research demonstrations of desirable effects can be reported.” . In other words, in all the serious research that’s been done on porn, no one has found that it has benefits for couples. What several studies have found, however, is that porn’s presence in a relationship can cause serious damage not only to the consumer, but also to those closest to them—especially their partner. (https://fightthenewdrug.org/research-says-married-couples-who-watch-porn-are-twice-as-likely-to-divorce/)
Porn promotes a completely fictional and exaggerated version of how people look and behave, and makes it look like an exciting reality—one that their partners often feel they can never live up to.
Many people, especially younger people, use pornography as a model of how they should act and to help define what the other person wants. This is alarming considering that pornagraphy changes over time and these days show increased violence (such as choking), rape, humiliation, degradation of women, and other forms of sexual violence. It’s not just looking at a magazine anymore as more of the physical senses are involved with videos. So unless something drastically changes this is the trajectory our younger generations are on, unbeknownst to them. (https://fightthenewdrug.org/does-porn-really-decrease-rates-of-sexual-assault/)
1-out-of-5 12 to 13-year-olds think watching porn is normal behavior and a part of everyday life. (https://fightthenewdrug.org/the-percentage-of-12-year-olds-who-admit-being-addicted-to-porn-will-shock-you/)
An interesting find was that women seem to be more effected by pornography - as for men the potential for divorce doubles but for women it triples (https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/08/divorce-rates-double-when-people-start-watching-porn)
Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex or affairs. https://divorcewizards.com/Divorce-Statistics-Pornography.html
Which interestingly enough, I believe this was foretold of in
2Ti 3:4 traitors, reckless, puffed up, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness, but denying the power of it; even turn away from these. 6 For of these are those who creep into houses and lead captive weak/silly women loaded with sins, led away with different kinds of lusts
The statistics have been fascinating but I don’t want to spend too much time just reciting numbers. I’ll end this portion by saying when porn is kids’ first exposure to “sex,” it does not set them up for a healthy relationship towards their own sexuality or sexual relationships. Even for adults it establishes self-defeating traps. Sure sin is fun for a while . . . until we have to deal with the results which I assure you, you will not like.
Jas 1:14 But each one is enticed when he is drawn away by his own desires and trapped. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin. And sin, when it has been accomplished, brings forth death.
So at this time I want to change gears to focus more on the spiritual aspect of pornography and the damage that it causes. We’ll start with the basics and then go deeper.
So many of you know about soul-ties. These are spiritual bonds that we create with those around us. While physical sexual intimacy is the most assured way to create a soul tie, it’s not the only way to create a soul-tie.
Eph 5:31 "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 But also let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife that she defers to her husband.
1Co 6:16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a whore is one body? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24).
Here are some ways that you know you have a soul-tie - whether good or bad soul ties - and these can be one-sided as well:
You feel ‘connected’ to that person - like on a deeper level (even if that’s just physically) - even if you don’t like the person - if you keep getting ‘pulled back’ to that person
If they draw strong emotions from you
A part of you feels like you are missing if they are not in your life
You visualize them often
You may even start to act like them
You may defend your relationship with them even it’s hurting you in some way
You may even feel like they are a part of you
Soul ties can also be created via emotions. This can happen when you are emotionally connected to a person - even a person you may have never physically met before because they are in your head - and you are always getting pulled back to thinking about them.
So another spiritual consideration are our gates - meaning our senses. I’m going to focus mainly on our earthly visual senses as a means for the enemy to enter our consciousness.
Mat 6:22 The light of the body is the eye. Therefore if your eye is sound, your whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if your eye is evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
Pro 27:20 Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.
Mat 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart! For they shall see God/Yah.
Those that use pornography often cannot get enough. You’ve probably heard it said before you know if you’re an addict if you can't quit. So keep in mind that when your physical eyes have been polluted or darkened you’ll have a harder time seeing God/Yah in the spirit realm as well - and satan knows this.
The point being that demons can enter into those that use pornography for the purposes of spiritual oppression and to manipulate them - to ruin relationships, cause rejection, abuse, etc. to get them off track for God’s best for them. Again, the demons know what a blessing physical intimacy is for a married couple so they utterly want to pervert that in any and all ways.
So let’s take this a step further. There is something called Sex Magick - which is any type of sexual activity used in magical, ritualistic or otherwise religious and spiritual pursuits. It is the art of working with the forces of Nature to bring about necessary, and desired, changes. The focus of Sex Magick is simply: energy and power of life - although this ritual can take many forms. It is also about becoming more spiritual, i.e. being in tune with your own deepest goals and desires. So of course they use the depravities of human lust combined with doing everything the Bible says not to do. In other words, this is a recipe for disaster.
So it should come as no surprise that some people use sex, lust - such as provocative social media posts, to lure people in. In researching this topic I found that many of these people were sex-workers that were witches but could also be witches that were not sex-workers that use Sex Magick. And I’m using the term witch here in a VERY generic sense.
I’m sure they are aware of the spiritual power that lust and perverted worldly love generates - as our heart is also where we get the strength of our will & passions (Psa 40:8, Jer 31:33)
Mat 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
There are many former porn stars that have repented and turned to Yeshua. In doing so, they have also told of how the occult, sex magick, cursing, rampant drug use, the rituals that go on before the videos start where they cast spells and drink potions. Some have come out to say the whole industry is fully demonic.
In a sense pornography is more deceptive than say the dark arts as many people openly do the dark arts understanding what they are getting into, at some level - unlike pornography which is a great deception that tries to fuel a basic craving of our human existence.
I could go on and on with those details but let’s move on to something more positive. I just want to make sure that people understand the depravity so they don’t take it so lightly. Just remember, God’s/Yah’s light shines the brightest in the darkest places.
As I’m sure some of you are asking ‘So what in tarnation is a disciple to do?’.
From a positive side, I’ll also say much more is understood these days regarding spiritual warfare and the power of the Holy Spirit/Ruach haKodesh working in our lives then ever before. The fight is more visible to those that want to see it. We also know we aren’t given more than we can bear.
1Co 10:13 No trial has overtaken you except such as is common to man, and Elohim is trustworthy, who shall not allow you to be tried beyond what you are able, but with the trial shall also make the way of escape, enabling you to bear it. 14 Therefore, my beloved ones, flee from idolatry.
So let’s be honest. What has been going on since the beginning of the Creation is idolatry. To be more specific, I’ve been talking about a brand of carnality centered on Phallic and Vulvic worship which is most often the case.
Those that are involved in sexual sins have basically made a covenant of some type with the enemy, with demons - whether they intended to or not, whether they did it knowingly or unknowingly. In the more recent times this has been able to occur more easily with provocative pics, pornography, and even masturbation - as that often involves fantasy lust.
2Co 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not fight according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons we fight with are not fleshly but mighty in Elohim for overthrowing strongholds, 5 overthrowing reasonings and every high matter that exalts itself against the knowledge of Elohim / God, taking captive every thought to make it obedient to the Messiah / Christ
The bible also says
Deu 7:25 “The carved images of their mighty ones you are to burn with fire. Do not covet the silver or gold that is on them, nor take it for yourselves, lest you be snared by it, for it is an abomination to Yahweh your Elohim / God. 26 “And do not bring an abomination into your house, lest you be accursed like it. Utterly loathe it and utterly hate it, for it is accursed. (Also Exodus 34: 12-16, Isaiah 28:15)
So again, no condemnation for those that are battling with pornography. I’m just trying to show the validity of what the Bible has been trying to tell us all of these years - that the Bible does indeed tell us how His world works - so it would make sense if we use it as much as possible.
4 Strategies to overcome carnal lust
But getting to the strategies . . . so we know that there is a spiritual war going on so spiritual warfare is needed. I have 4 strategies for how to beat this type of oppression:
1) One of the basic components of deliverance ministry is dealing with generational curses. So if there were sexual sins in your generational past, your bloodline - or even witchcraft in your bloodline - you could have a spiritual inclination towards sexual sins. I strongly suggest that you get deliverance ministry from an experienced & reputable deliverance minister. Of course as we mentioned earlier soul-ties have been created as well so those need to be renounced.
2) A second area to conquer is your past. This should be dealt with in deliverance ministry as well - as you have to deal with the hurts that are still lurking in your past. Many times people don’t even realize what is still in their past because they’ve moved on. They’ve forgotten what is in their closet. The enemy will use that as an open door - problems such as Rejection, Bullying, Fear, etc.
3) The last area to conquer is the rewiring your brain and developing godly character. This will keep the demons out once they are gone.
1Co 15:33 Do not be led astray, “Evil company corrupts good habits.”
You may need to change your habits, your friends, get off social media or even refrain from using the computer. We also need to be VERY aware of our thought life as this is a major battlefield where the enemy seeks to gain control to direct our lives.
For the married folks, the enemy may be putting somebody in your life trying to set you up to commit adultery, for example. Sometimes people may even jokingly said the ‘work-husband’ or the ‘work-wife’ as one tactic. Don’t even come into agreement with that.
Heb 13:4 Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Keep in mind that a marriage is not designed to honor the couple – it is designed to honor God first. Marriage expresses the unselfish love that only God/Yah can give. The sexual relationship in a marriage symbolizes God’s relationship with His Bride.
Our thoughts are where our actions begin as that is where the seed is planted (Mat 13 - Parable of the Sower). You may think that what you think isn’t hurting anybody but how long before the enemy sets you up and you act on your thoughts? It may never happen I understand but it does happen all the time to people who thought it would never happen to them.
But again this starts in our mind . . .
Rom 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you prove what is that good and well-pleasing and perfect desire of Elohim.
As Derek Prince once said “You can crucify the flesh and cast out the demons but you can’t cast out the flesh and crucify the demons”.
Lastly, 4) of course prayer is definitely needed as the Bible also says
Mat 26:41 Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Mat 6:13 ‘And do not lead us into trial, but deliver us from the wicked one
You need to know also that your prayers are fueled by your faith.
I know it may seem like I gave 4 simple steps but each one of those steps will require much effort. Just know that God/Yah is fighting for you and with you.
If you fail, just try to get back on the path to holiness as soon as you can, no matter how long it takes. If you feel condemnation know that is the enemy trying to shame you to get you to give up. When your conviction is of God/Yah, it’s an encouraging Righteous Conviction where you sense Him guiding you to do better as a loving Father would.
I pray this blesses you and your current or even future spouse as well.
Deliverance Minister & Biblical Advocate